so long and thanks for all the fish

O Diamond! Diamond! Thou little knowest the mischief done! – Sir Isaac Newton

Remark to a dog who knocked down a candle and so set fire to some papers and ‘destroyed the almost finished labours of some years’. Thomas Maude, Wensley-Dale…a poem (1780).

barganews.com has been an inspirational voyage of discovery, learning and above most, friendship. In a digital fast age from city to mountain side sunsets. The people, the places, the art. Thank you for a wonderful experience. I'm forever in your gratitude.

Bravo barganews!

:)

rawfish
posted by raw fish at 12:18 AM

One for the money

Explaining the reasons for increased police presence at Bangkok’s karaoke bars, police major general Boribun Wutpakdi told a press conference, ‘Hogging the karaoke microphone can have serious consequences for public order. Six people have recently been shot dead in karaoke bars during disputes over whose turn it was to sing.’ But even his own force is involved: ‘It’s true that police L/Cpl Sangworm shot and killed a man last year and wounded another because they called him names when he was about to sing a song for the third time in a row. My advice is to sing just one song and then pass the microphone along. That way nobody gets hurt.’

Now we all know that some foreign customs can be, well lets face it, a bit odd. Karaoke being a fine example. However John B Henderson, chess correspondent for the Scotsman had more than his bagpipes to worry about. As he flew into Seattle at the height of the UK foot and mouth crisis, US customs men confiscated his haggis, took it out to the runway, shot it five times, doused it with petrol and set fire to it. Well, I always liked my pig stomach well done.
posted by raw fish at 1:20 AM

Words strain,
Crack and sometimes break, under the burden,
Under the tension, slip, slide, perish,
Decay with imprecision, will not stay in place,
Will not stay still.

George Eliot 1819 - 1880

Chances are you don’t me, yet you can see the words I have created with any value they hold. As an individual I become a microcosm almost invisible in an ocean of words. My voice is deafeningly silent. I never really liked shouting, it always seemed so loud. Sometimes I feel there is no other way? As I think of what to write my fellow country men are killing in the name of ‘freedom’. Freedom of what?
posted by raw fish at 11:10 PM

10 Things you must do when you visit Barga

Like a magical Cobra, once she bites there is nothing down for you? The only known antidote is more. My brief visit to Barga has left me cold turkey so I thought I’d recap with my top 10 Barga pastimes.

10) The Standing Stones of Barga – Take a stroll down the mysterious stream in the Garfagnana and you never know what you may meet. Be sure to bathe at the foot of one of the many waterfalls that are there. On a good day looking up into the valley sky can usually reward you with the flight of an eagle. Truly beautiful.

9) Pasta at Osteria Angelio – With featured artwork each month from different artists both local and from a far, the jazz induced atmosphere of Osteria Angelio is more than accommodating. Be sure to hold on to your glass though as I hear the bar man greases them up!! Be sure to take advantage of the superb Internet access and post a message on www.the-flipside.co.uk :P

8) Visit the Duomo – Don’t really need to say this. However take a alternative view of the Duomo, get mind bogglingly drunk, wait till 3;30 am then from the foothills of Barga climb right up to the Duomo as fast as you can without tripping over too many times. Once at the top take time to watch the bats as they feed on the insects attracted to the lighting. Bats, medieval castles and wine sure do help ones imagination.

7) We are on barganews.com – A fun thing for all the kids. Send them off around Barga with the fun task of counting how many ‘We are on barganews.com’ stickers there are dotted about the place. Will keep them busy all day.

6) Witness a Jam session – It seems to me that you never know when it’s going to happen. Something to do with the cycle of the moon I thought? No. No science can describe the wonders of musicians unknown to each other, creating music and spreading the universal language sound.

5) Eat Pizza at Capretz – Great value and great pizza. I’d recommend going out back and sitting on the balcony looking out over the houses below. At sunset the view and colours of the hills in the background remind you how special Barga is.

4) Try and get into a Bank – yes, something I had real trouble with. The time lock doors really spun me out. Looked very stupid.

3) Go hunting for treasure – Well not really but sometimes it’s fun to explore the place with a little role-play in mind. With the Inhabitants on special occasions dressing in period costume you really do get a feel what medieval life must have been like. I think that the museum was closed on my visit but if it had been open I would have been in there quicker than deety at Aristo’s opening time.

2) Make a deposit in doggybag’s ‘studio’ – Yes, that’s correct. A visit to Barga would not be complete without trying out the local public lav’s. The public toilets in Barga boast the first European public convenience to have Internet access. Thing is, it’s quite tricky to surf whilst squatting but after a few days practice basic search engine usage is possible.

1) Get sloshed at Aristo’s – It’s hard to describe this place in words. A one off perhaps? I mean the guy keeps the lights off to save on electricity to keep the wine cheap. He would be loved in Liverpool that is for sure. Aristo was the first on my arrival in Italy to give me a lesson in speaking Italian. ‘Eat, Drink, Fu*k’ that’s all you need he tells me. He wasn’t far off. All I needed to know was to try and pronounce these words whilst heavily under the influence of grape water. The other great thing about this place is the friendly banta. Keep a smile on your face and everything will be just fine and hold on for the place to erupt into laughter and music.

*Warning* Never go to this bar if you want a glass of water. Also, never leave your wife behind in the morning saying ‘I’m popping out for a paper’ whilst stepping in Aristo’s for a ‘quick drink’ on the way. You will NOT be sober on your arrival home with a bag of goat cheese and no paper!
posted by raw fish at 3:57 PM

Back - at last!

Two day’s ago I was in Barga. What a great and for filling experience. I’m sure I will be stalking those streets at night once again in the near future. It’s important to focus on the serious issues in life so lets catch up on some news.

New Zealand

Waikato University men’s volleyball team has been banned from playing after accepting sponsorship from a local escort agency. Unsurprisingly, the slogan ‘Get Shagged In Horny Hamilton’ caused outrage among female students. ‘The sex industry has become a stakeholder in the university, and this sponsorship is implicit acceptance of the sale of women as sexual merchandise,’ said a university spokeswoman.

Germany

A German sauna has banned a man caught secretly filming naked customers with a tiny camera hidden in his shower gel bottle. A police spokesman said, ‘The man claimed he wanted the material for artistic purpose.’ Sounds like someone I met in Barga!
posted by raw fish at 1:56 PM

Red Sky at night

So it’s spring, it’s Easter, it’s fun. Never one for over doing it on holiday’s so today I didn’t. As I’m looking out of my bay window sitting at my computer, the sun filled day is fastly slipping away as the darkest storm approaches from the Irish Sea. A moment has paced and the bright day is gone and the dark evening is present. Just one pink cloud out of all the black ones screams at me for attention. I look. As if by magic on the next glance the pink has spread across the sky. The pink glow is warming yet it sits in the middle of the approaching storm. This must be the calm.

posted by raw fish at 10:42 PM

life in water

Is not a Patron, my Lord, one who looks with
Unconcern on a man struggling for life in water,
And, when he has reached ground, encumbers him with
Help? The notice which you have been pleased to take
of my labours, had it been early, had been kind; but it
Has been delayed till I am indifferent, and cannot enjoy
It; till I am solitary, and cannot impart it; till I am
Known, and do not want that.

Samuel Johnson 1709 - 1784
posted by raw fish at 2:36 PM

end of an era

MIR is set to come home in less than 12 hours time. The 15-year-old orbital platform is due to plunge into the Earth's atmosphere on Friday, with fragments expected to hit the Pacific Ocean at around 0600 GMT. The station that was commissioned with the mission of being a strategic military advance over the US and a useful spying position. MIR was a triumphant symbol of a crumbling Soviet Union when it was launched in 1986. Being first was nothing new to the Russian Space Program, first satellite in space, first man in space the Soviets showed the way in the skies. However the RSP soon run out of money and tried to create revenue from 'Space Tourism'. This didn't work so Russia had to turn to the US and NASA.

This historical space rendezvous with the NASA shuttle which docked with MIR was greeted with these historical words by the US astronaut.

-- 'Hey, you guys are upside down'.

posted by raw fish at 10:26 PM

the sea

There is no woman’s sides
Can bide the beating of so strong a passion
As love doth give my heart; no woman’s heart
So big, to hold so much; they lack retention.
Alas! their love may be call’d appetite,
No motion of the liver. But the palate,
That suffer surfeit, cloyment, and revolt;
But mine is all as hungry as the sea,
And can digest so much.

SHAKESPEARE Twelfth night
posted by raw fish at 11:32 PM

Journey

I always enjoyed travelling but today’s journey left me feeling somewhat mislaid. It had been about 2 years since I had last been on a aeroplane. I loved flying but the whole rig moral of check in and waiting around for hours at the boarding gates got me down.

So you get to 32,000 feet and the plastic breakfast appears. No legroom, small tray, plastic tub, mini orange, mini yoghurt. As I pulled back the lid to peak inside my hand was soaked by the condensation that meet me. Mmmm, micro sausage, bacon, strange eggs, sloppy tomato and chunks of fake potatoes.

“Would you like coffee sir”, the stewardess leant over to fill my plastic thimble full of weak warm coffee. “Thanks” I replied.

The wings of this Airbus were welded by a friend! I was amazed at the apparent lack of straightness in the line of rivets that held the wing onto the passenger tube! Must have been coming up to lunchtime I thought to my self!

Bored I browse through the various literature on how to escape from a crashed plane, the brace position, emergency lightning will appear on the floor, blah blah blah do you really think that I’ll be thinking about the lighting when the floor is coming quickly at me!

The lack of horizon catches my attention; its strange seeing things at a 45 degree angle? I always wondered how the clouds managed to look so perfect. Untouched and fluffy. It looks too solid to be nothing, its just water, tiny particles of water. How? The plane took a sudden tackle from the power of the wind. Turbulence, the seat belt warning signs light up, ‘ding-dong’.

“This is you pilot speaking, hope you enjoyed your meal with us today. We are now approaching our decent but as you may tell we have a really bad crosswind here today so we will encounter some turbulence on the decent. I’d like to thank you all for flying with us and hope you fly again soon. Thank you.”

Great, I love turbulence, fantastic. It never fails to brighten up a boring landing. The tube was all over the show as I looked out of the window to be greeted by the Alps below. Nice view. Bump, swerve, side-to-side a bit, up-and-down, wobble-wobble ….. err those sausages I just ate arnt really agreeing with me now ……

Landed.

You know I always expected flying at 32,000 feet at over 400 mph to be really fun. Its not, you feel like cattle in transit on the way to the rendering house.

Chocks Away.
posted by raw fish at 2:15 PM

Hello. Let me introduce my self. My name is rawfish and I live by the sea in the North West of England. I must say what an honour and privilege it is to be able to communicate with you good people.

They say seeing is believing but now I’m not so sure;

While the biggest handicap most darts players encounter is hauling their bolbus guts to the oche, it’s a different matter for Steve Geary. The 42-year-old has been blind for 20 years but still turns out for the darts team at the Bishop’s Blaze pub in Romsey, Hants UK, each week.

In January, Steve took to the oche for the game against local rivals Kins Somborne and having been guided with his first dart, promptly stepped up and hit three treble 20s, much to the amazement of everyone in the pub.

‘I thought the third one would never go in and that the scorer and everybody else was having a laugh when he shouted out,’ explained Steve, who lost his sight in 1981 when a virus attacked his optic nerve. ‘It wasn’t till I went up to the board and felt the darts that I realised what I had done.’

Sadly, despite his maximum, Steve lost the match. ‘That didn’t matter because I’m just so over the moon to get 180,' he shrugged, before walking into the fruit machine!
posted by raw fish at 9:37 PM

test2
posted by keane . at 2:11 PM

test
posted by raw fish at 2:01 PM