Ok. let's see if we can make a bit more sense of this situation….. 18 hours ago I found an article linking to barganews written by a blogger called Grant who was recently here on holiday in Barga with his family. I read a couple of his blogs and thought that his slightly quirky view of Barga was worth putting up on the site to see if a larger audience would also find it interesting. There used to be a section on the site called "also in the news – articles about Barga" but that has long been deleted and so I put the article under "A reader writes" banner. It was on the front page but just a headline.
Below is the full text of Grants blog;
I was recently on holiday in Barga, Tuscany and one day I ventured up to the top of the charming medieval village to take a look at the Duomo San Cristiofano, built and variously altered between the 9th-15th Centuries. I first of all had a stroll around the outside to look at the exterior and take in the impressive views across the mountains before heading inside. It was lovely and cool in there – just what I needed after the trek uphill in 35°C heat – and so still and quiet. As I looked around I noticed the usual Catholic trappings – lit candles, statues, etc. and also something else that I had half-expected to find but had really hoped wouldn’t be in there…
I was last in Italy six years ago and an abiding memory of my many visits to churches and cathedrals is the large number of coin-operated things found inside which detract immensely from the beauty of the architecture and the general feeling of “churchiness”. I think the worst example I can remember is from a church in Assisi which had a collection of coin-operated neon crosses and fake electric candles which looked utterly tacky and out of place. Anyway, in the Duomo San Cristiofano I had noticed that it was quite dim and dingy but there was no need to worry about that – situated right next to a statue was a box that would happily guzzle 1 Euro coins in exchange for a limited period of bright illumination. Quite how popular that was with the folk in the church praying or doing their candle-lighting down at the front is unknown to me but it must have been mildly distracting, at the very least.
For me, just the presence of that machine changed the whole mood of the place and turned it into something commercial and touristy which I didn’t really like (although I shouldn’t really say too much about that since I was being a tourist after all, but at least I didn’t actually turn the lights on or make any noise unlike some other loud, brash folk who came in – I’ll leave it as an exercise for the reader to guess which nation of cheesburger-eating invasion-monkeys they belonged to 
).
As I continued looking around inside the Duomo I discovered a likely candidate for what the profits from the machine could be spent on. Maybe the church could splash out on a new Pyrex bowl to sit inside the font? Incidentally this contained the foulest, most sediment-ridden “Holy” water I have ever seen.
Mmmm, come to think of it, could the title of this post be a witty and cutting remark about the corruption which may (or may not) exist within the Catholic Church? Nah, not really
*doesn’t rock boats*
—————————————————————-
Over the next 18 hours a dozen comments were posted up here and on his own blog and as Grant himself said "Well, we’ve got a bit of chat going over at barganews.com and apart from me being called a petty, childish, self-obsessed, complaining, offensive, mindless church-desecrater, I think it’s going rather well 
" which kind of summed it all up really.
Please read comment number 13 and accept my apology for not making all of this clearer beforehand.
Now that we have hopefully cleared the air a bit maybe you all might be interested in just where Grant's story is now leading ?
The ever ready award winning photographer O'Connor (whiskey-swilling Dublin Kerry wife-beater) was sent up the Duomo in investigate the sediment-ridden Holy Water font. Grant is right on the ball – the recent reconstruction work going since the spring has left its mark, but wait there's more.
Grant did you notice the baptismal font to the right as you enter the main door ? It is covered over with fitted copper lid with a small trapdoor. Open the door and what do we find ?
SHOCK HORROR PROBE
The Holy Water is kept safe, clean … and well … holy … in two Tupperware containers
Now, who would have thought ?
————————–
Further Edit:
This seems to want to just run and run. We sent the award winning photographer O’Connor back once again into the Duomo this afternoon. (he is now complaining that he spends more time in church than the priest does) He put one Euro into the box and filmed the lights in the Duomo. We can now say categorically that one euro gives 5 minutes light.
This “comment” should be nominated for a Nobel Prize in petty, self-absorbed complaining. The writer might have taken note of how few parishioners there are in these churches, and reached a somewhat more reflective conclusion about the growing difficulties the Church — and Italy — face in trying to maintain a patrimony that is second to none. If the Duomo lighting wasn’t worth a euro, then perhaps Italy wasn’t worth the trip. Go somewhere with good, free lighting next time. I suggest Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.
On the contrary, my trip to Barga was one of the best holidays I have ever had and we are already making plans to come back again. I thought the Duomo was gorgeous – I had no problem at all with the dim interior (in fact it provided just the right ambience for a moment of quiet reflection) but the whole coin-operated vending/church combination doesn’t sit easily with me. That’s just my opinion – I have no wish to offend anyone so my apologies if that is the case.
“I have no wish to offend anyone” -except, of course, perhaps, us- “cheesburger-eating invasion-monkeys”… right monacu? 🙂 yourself
I understand the differences in the mood and spirituality you can find in a candle-illuminated and lamp-illuminated room or worse church…
But candles in the centuries have spoiled the colors of the stone, frescos, paintings etc. Without considering the wax dripping on the floors, the risk of fire…
So, it is to preserve what we had from our ancestors in the better way we can. Eventually, it is not the source of the light that makes your prayers valuable, but how much you feel them. A light is a light, wax or tungsten that is…
My sincere apologies for the spelling mistake. I do not speak Italian and relied on Google for the spelling. I have updated my original article with the spelling “Duomo San Cristofano” – I hope this is now correct?
I also offer my apologies for the dig at our American friends. I did include a “wink” after it and I’m sure the “Simpsons” fans out there will know that the phrase I used is not one of mine but a popular retort to the “cheese-eating surrender-monkeys” phrase used in the show to poke fun at the French.
As for my “mindless desecration” of the church, I really don’t think you can accuse me of that. I was arguing *against* the commercial trappings of coin-operated machines in churches. The Duomo in Barga wasn’t too bad – as I mentioned I found Assisi to be far worse for this kind of thing.
Thanks poetry. And yes, Grant’s childish allusion to “cheeseburger-eating invasion-monkeys” does say more about who he is than it does about anyone else. Not to mention the fact that he can’t spell the name of the church he so mindlessly desecrates.
that phrase “cheeseburger-eating invasion-monkeys†— made me laugh out loud – thank you Grant
First, I am condemned as a heretic for contravening traditional values and saying the earth is not flat. Now Grant is condemned as an effigy of evil for supporting traditional values and saying he prefers candle-light to a coin-operated electric one.
Can we have some consistency here?
( … turns in his grave…. )
An enlightened and reasoned approach would give that, while it is necessary to have some artificial light in the Duomo, there are a number of reasons why too much is not wise or prudent in the long term. Among them, too much artificial light damages artwork, the national treasure. In addition, it runs up exorbitant electric bills, and depletes the local treasury. The treasured traditional ambiance is compromised as well. We can all agree a coin operated lighting system seems a bit kitsch but has its reasoned purpose, providing light only when necessary and defraying the cost.
The Duomo is named for San Cristoforo, which you might have known had you done your Barga homework instead of watching the insipid cheeseburger-eating-invasion-monkey Simpsons, or even just paid some degree of attention to previous comments made on your blog by way of enlightenment. You would have found many recent references to the spelling on barganews, for instance here, or here
You’re monkeying around with the patrimony in a not very enlightened or reasoned way.
Easy, tiger. My blog is really just a little bit of fun for me. It think it is read mainly by people I know in real life and seldom by very many others. I suppose it’s just like a diary for me. Had I known that it would suddenly appear on a Barga website I would have conducted painstaking research. As it was, I Googled for “Barga Duomo” and used the spelling I got from planetware.com
My apologies to doggybag – I had never heard of barganews until I found several comments from doggybag on my blog this morning and my article posted here. I’m not sure what you mean about the previous comments on my blog – no-one has corrected me (apart from your good self on this site for which I am grateful, despite your aggressive tone).
This is a fun one:
I’ll agree that the metal coinbox is, aesthetically, and perhaps symbolically, a modern blemish in a beautiful, evocative, ancient place. But it’s a very, very small blemish, which most people apparently feel is hardly worth mentioning. I think some of the negative reaction to your complaint comes from our surprise that, after your wonderful vacation, this is the one point you wanted to share with barganews rearders. Turn in any direction and you’ll see, hear, smell or taste something to make you forget all about coinboxes., right?
And I seriously doubt the coinbox is there to exploit tourists. I think it’s there to help cope with them. Cheeseburger-eating invasion-monkeys with Italian surnames don’t send as much money back to their hometown churches as they used to, after all. I seriously doubt there are any profits. Besides, churches have been collecting coins from the people inside them for centuries, have they not?
Then there’s a larger question about “authenticity” and the tourist tendency to wish for, in the extreme, Italian villages unchanged since the Middle Ages. Your already great appreciation of Barga may grow when you accept that it’s a real town, full of contractions and foibles that are just as interesting as the stone walls and chestnut beams.
As for “cheeseburger-eating invasion-monkeys.” Well, OK. On behalf of my countrymen, I apologize.
Finally, about the holy water. Here’s the thing: Three Barga children were swept away by a flooded stream in 1547. Barghigiani pulled their silt-covered bodies from the water and carried them, in procession, up the hill toward the duomo. Along the way, one, then another, then the third child revived. The event didn’t quite reach official miracle status, but the Barga churches have used muddy stream water for holy water ever since. Pretty cool tradtion, once you know the story.
OK, I made that part up. But we tourists (and I’m a two-fisted one) should sometimes ask a few questions before we deliver our assessments (and yes, I recognize and respect that you’re merely sharing an opinion, Grant).
Would Doggybag have been equally amused if Grant’s ha-ha-ha reference was to whiskey-swilling Dublin wife-beaters? Would he have been as approving if Grant alluded to rag-head camel-jockeys, etc etc? You either find this variety of insult childish (consider his source) or you don’t, and if you don’t it puts you in very unsavory company.
“I think some of the negative reaction to your complaint comes from our surprise that, after your wonderful vacation, this is the one point you wanted to share with barganews rearders.”
Well, the thing is – I didn’t actually intend to share anything at all with barganews readers. My blog post appeared on here without my knowledge or permission (not that I can complain – once the “publish” button is pressed then it’s in the public domain). I wrote several small snippets/observations about my holiday while I was there (of which the Duomo post was one) but I had been saving my “what a truly wonderful place Barga is” post for a time when I was back at home and able to spend a decent amount of time writing it and sorting through my photos. I was also going to write about the little stone face on one of the town walls that people put their fingers into once I found out the story behind it, and I was intending to fully investigate the Scottish connections and write about them too. These posts were going to be for my friends who read my blog but if they are going to end up on here and be ripped apart by the locals then maybe I won’t bother making them public.
Good flood story, btw. You had me duped for a bit there 🙂
Oops, my bad. I should have noticed have noticed that the barganews editor was merely reposting your post.
I can tell you all about the stone face. First, it’s newer than you’d think, just a hundred-something years old. There are a couple more along the mule track to Sommocolonia, by the way. The faces are supposed to represent the King of England or various Scottish landowners. Barghigiani returning from Scotland would give the King a poke in the eyes in return for all the stereotyping and discrimination they suffered while working and living in Britain.
Nah, I made that up, too.
Keane: There must be some way to harness the power of all us tourists descending the Duomo steps, like hydroelectric power, but with tourists instead of water. Then use the electricity to light the Duomo and remove the unsightly coinbox. In a sense, Barga would be converting cheeseburgers into light, and Americans would create more lumens per capita than anyone else.
Almost forgot:
Doggybag, please ask Keane to pass along to O’Connor my compliments, one professional to another, on the excellent investigative follow-up.
Meanwhile, I’m thinking of all the other sorts of things a coinbox can activate or dispense. I think we should all be very happy that it merely turns on the lights.
It certainly did! I do like a good chuckle first thing in the morning 😀
dannyboy, -Oh, lighten up! in other words. Good point.
aw man ah feel left oot eh aw this ah dont know wither ah shood go ti the dome thing for a shave or a burger or geest ti see the monkeys ah used ti think Barga wis a nice wee quiet place ah didnae know aboot aw they attractions up there ah usually go to another place of worship thats the BAR SPORT ye gee them euros and yer cup is runneff ova aw nite bit yer rite enuff Barga is pure quality innit man,went ti guugle fur the speelin
I hope that lightened the mood a wee bit.
Grant.
I agree, I also think that the 1 euro holy enlightenment experience is very tacky although if the Duomo really wanted to raise money then a coin operated toilet just out of sight of the main alter would have been a better option.
In my transcontinental experience the change of diet coupled with a different tomato processing technique (Sugo as opposed to Ketchup) not to mention the unusual swaying movements caused by the cobble stoned hike up the steep hill to get up to the Duomo usually means that on arrival pilgrims drop on their knees and start praying for someone to show them the way to the promised land.
After regaining their breath the more desperate and less enlightened have mistakenly taken refuge in the 9th century pulpit or 15th century confessional boxes. As you can imagine, during a sung mass this can cause a nuisance, especially when the more thunderous parts are not synchronised with the halleluiah chorus or higher notes of the Ave-Maria.
To relieve the visitors’ pain, the obvious solution was to install a coin operated toilet but the failure to find a silent flushing soundproofed low decibel version and which worked just as well with hard, soft or holy water meant that the only real solution was to increase the lighting so that visitors could see and hence not make the mistake.
But then again, why have the light on all of the time and besides why take away their pleasure in “spending a pennyâ€
Wondered when Deety would weigh in. We’ve missed his calm humor up to now, although Danny Boy appears to offer serious competition. Blessed be the peacemakers, for theirs is the kingdom of whatever turns you on. Incidentally, cheeseburgers are not available in Barga, and I hope to hell it stays that way. As for invaders, the last t0o merit that description came from a European country beyond the Alps, and were eventually repulsed by an alliance of tea-sippers and cheeseburger-eaters
Well, let us now suspend judgement of Messer Grant’s original correspondence, together with matters pertaining to spelling and more general typographical accuracy. Clearly it was not (ill-)conceived as a direct assault on the objective values of the town or its inhabitants. As a rule I am in any case resigned to superficiality in as much as this “information†age we live in has proved to be everything but! Given that over the years I have frequently sought and found solace in the adoption of a “lighter†and more humorous vision of the daily tragedy that surrounds me, I can only applaud the intent – if not the actual execution – of the piece in question.
However, as an adopted son and citizen of Barga, I have no alternative but to take issue with the tone as well as content of some of the more vitriolic retorts. It is simply unacceptable that a visitor to this town be treated to such a public display of bad manners, snide and condescending quips and be subjected to a veritably parochial (no pun intended, given the subject matter) offensive that goes decidedly against the open, welcoming, and tolerant embrace which for me has always characterised the higher elements of the Barga milieu – and for this I apologise even on behalf of others who should know better! One can only presume that the summer heat (not to mention the ravages of time) has momentarily occluded the powers of discernment of some of our more exalted local luminaries!
My hope is that the author of the travelogue will be able to distinguish (as he seems to have done so far) between all that is great and good in Barga (and in particular Barga Vecchia) and be encouraged to return. Once here he may wish to view such matters as coin operated illumination in a different light (again, no pun intended) and focus on some of the, dare I say, truly transcendental (even if with a small ‘t’) experiences which this magical place has to offer. It would then, I am sure, be a pleasure not only for me; but even for some of our more cantankerous elements to read his resume – however humorous and irreverent.
signed jack nannini
I wasn’t joking, Some belly active pilgrim did go in one of the confession boxes, and although he did make a full confession the church still found it difficult washing away his sins.
Some technical details
One Euro will give you exactly 2 minutes and 20 seconds of light, turning on 10 extra light bulbs.
Euro’s are not cumulative hence if you insert a second euro the time just starts again. Hence full value for money can only be achieved if you insert the second euro after the lights have gone out.
5 of the light bulbs are 200W and the other 5 are 500W which means that the enhanced illumination consumes an extra 3500W.
The Duomo has been divided into 10 zones each of which takes about 2 minutes to visit, hence the 10 light bulbs.
Here is a guaranteed way to fully benefit of your euros worth.
….You need to be in a group of 10 people.
….Each person stands directly below one of the ten light bulbs.
….When the lights go out each person moves clockwise to the next light bulb.
….The person who is closest to the coin box inserts a euro.
This technique guarantees you about 23.3 minutes of illumination for 1 euro a head.
A cheaper way is:
….wait for a group of ten people to enter the Duomo.
….sell them the above technique.
….move around freely for the next 23.3 minutes.
This technique doesn’t guarantee anything but is a lot cheaper.
If you want to play a joke then
…position yourself next to the coin box
…wait until the official mass starts
…when the priest starts preaching about seeing the light insert coin.
Ps: If you don’t want to be considered rude then wear a baseball cap and carry a cheeseburger carton under your left arm.
I am going back on Saturday I wish I had nine pals ………I wish I had nine euros
Thank you so much for posting up the video – it’s a nice reminder of a fantastic holiday. I hadn’t actually noticed the fake plug-in candles before (maybe because they are so tastefully designed that they are fully in keeping with the church’s rustic aesthetic?) but I shall make no further comment 😉
Quote “We can now say categorically that one euro gives 5 minutes light”
Sorry you are right; I did my original calculations in Lira, the introduction of the Euro means that everything has doubled and therefore it takes twice as long to look around the place. When reading the previous article I posted please take all my theories and divide by two or should that be multiply.
But is it five English minutes or five metric minutes? I’m still a bit confused.
And I dont know how many pals I will need now!
Maybe I will just go in five times on my own.
…. and if you notice my second name how many connells will it take to light up the whole area?
Dannyboy,
Although they may seem and feel different, in fact Five Metric Minutes are exactly equal to Five English Minutes.
To explain the reason that they feel different you will need to take into account the different Latitudes and varying Earth diameters between Northern and Southern Europe, which means that “at rest†Southern Europeans are moving much faster than “at rest†Northern Europeans.
The faster “stationary speed†of Southern Europeans means that in a 24 hour period they have covered a lot more distance than their Northern counterparts.
To compensate for this difference in performance and avoid unfair competition their everyday physical movements and conception of time have had to decrease.
There is a mathematical formula based on Earth diameter, Latitude and country trait which you can use to calculate the differences and hence their “Latitudinal Time Phase Shiftâ€
In practise what this means is that on average a Northern European visiting southern Europe requires at least four weeks for their “Latitudinal Time Phase Shift†to adjust.
Hence on arrival their physical movements and conception of time are much to fast. This leads to them moving around at the wrong latitudinal speeds and hence leaving their “at rest†position prematurely and arriving at appointments much too early.
Ps: If you are referring to 5 American English Minutes rather than 5 English Minutes then the Latitudinal Time Phase Shift calculations are slightly different, you will need to add the “longitudinal cerebral shift factor”.
So, see you in five minutes and don’t be early.
I think you,ve taken that to far
Barga Stationary speed at Latitude 44° North = 745 mph = 17880 miles per day
London Stationary Speed. at Latitude 51°North = 652 mph = 15648 miles per day.
Therefore you travel 2232 extra miles a day in Barga than in London.
This means that in Barga you reach 15648 miles three hours before you would in London. Therefore when in Barga you need to slow down by 8 minutes an hour.
For those of you intrested here is a list of the speed various people are trvelling in different cities.
ps: If you are not on the list then Multiply the value at the Equator by cosine of your latitude to see how fast the Earth is rotating where you are.
North Pole 90°N 0 mph
Helsinki 60°N 519 mph
Edinburgh, 55°N 595 mph
Dublin 53°N 624 mph
Berlin 52°N 639 mph
London 51°N 652 mph
Paris 48°N 694 mph
Seattle 47°N 707 mph
Quebec 46°N 721 mph
Rome 41°N 783 mph
Madrid 40°N 795 mph
Beijing 39°N 806 mph
Tokyo 35°N 850 mph
Baghdad 33°N 870 mph
New Orleans 30°N 898 mph
Houston, 29°N 907 mph
New Delhi 28°N 916 mph
Havana 23°N 955 mph
Bogota 4°N 1035 mph
Singapore 1°N 1,037 mph
Equator 0° 1,037.58 mph
Jakarta 6°S 1,032 mph
Rio De Janeiro 22°S 962 mph
Johannesburg 26°S 933 mph
Sydney 33°S 870 mph
Auckland 36°S 839 mph
South Pole 90°S 0 mph
Often, I must confess, I have nurtured some doubt as to your (Deety) ‘compos mentis’. However, within this rapid succession of postings, you have touched on the sublime: I now realise that all those apparent drunken babblings were in reality a process of thinking aloud the progressive refining of a new theory of spatial relativity which in years to come will surely rival Einstein’s E=MC2!
A thousand thanks to you, my friend, for now you have finally come up with a scientific explanation which I can proffer to my wife as to why I’m sitting in Casciani’s drinking beer when she phones me to point out that I’m late for (cooking her) dinner. Now I can quote “Deety’s Theory of Latitudinal Time Phase Shift” – given that she is in Tiglio (significantly to the North-East) and I’m in Barga Vecchia! Furthermore, all this is compounded by considerable L.C.S.F. (Longitudinal Cerebral Shift Factor) in as much as I’m a US national (and occasionally even enjoy monkeying around with the odd cheeseburger-eating ’bout) and she is Italian.
The only snag is that she doesn’t give a shit!
The other snag is that the theorem propounded is a ridiculous simplification of the true equation: It ignores both blood temperature and religious persuasion. As everyone knows protestants move faster than catholics and both move faster than buddhists and hindus, some of whom have come to a complete halt no matter where they may be. The complete equation (in SI units of course is: V=463*(cos L)*R*(T+236) where V is the virtual speed of any individual, L is the latitude, R is the appropriate religious factor (see Tables for values) and T the temperature in Celsius (the 236 adjusts for degrees Kelvin)
Apart from that to get back to the original point which all the contributors have missed: italians love extremes. The fastest cars in the world and the Ape; spectacular scenery and the beaches of the ligurian riviera; Versace, Gucci ecc and cycling lycra;the most beautiful art in the world and italian tv. That alone explains the tacky lights and tupperware bowl in the simple, dignified interior of the duomo.
You don’t have to come to Italy to witness the clash between the sacred and the profane: “Tutto il mondo è paeseâ€!