Smile at Strangers – “What is Your Name?”

The diverse culture here, in Italy is something that has swept me off of my feet. It is of course easy to write love songs about the art, the food, the fashion and of course, the coffee; however, what I have found myself admiring the most, are the people.

As someone who grew up in New York and Connecticut, I am used to the idea of ignoring the human existence. Whether on the subway in the city or walking on the beach in Westport, it is an unwritten rule to not speak to or make eye contact with anyone. A joke in New York City is to make sure you do not say, “excuse me?” at the start of asking for directions or people assume you are a homeless person asking for money, someone trying to sell something, or a generally shady character.

Unfortunately, I carried these habits with me to Italy and it has taken me a little bit of time to accept that people aren’t trying to kidnap me if they say, “hello” on the street. In fact, I have met more people than I can count from just striking up a conversation in passing.

There was an elderly man I used to be really suspicious of who would ride his bicycle around the walls in Lucca and always happened to end up where I was. He would park his bike and come sit near me, no matter where I went or what time of day, he seemed to find me. I would get really angry as I was trying to enjoy my solitude or work on something and I would look up to see this same man. One day I stood up abruptly as he sat next to me on a bench and stormed away.

Two days later, I was in a completely different place on the wall when I looked up and saw – guess who?- riding towards me. He dismounted his bike and sat at a table with me. This time, though, instead of huffing off in my New York style, I decided to try a different tactic.

“Come si chiama?” (what is your name?), I asked him? His face lit up like the sun exposing one of the most truthful and wonderful smiles I had ever seen. “Reynaldo”, he replied jovially. For the next hour we sat and talked in Italian about our lives, our families, Italian wine, art, music, and everything else one could discuss. I had told him I had an audition coming up that week and by the end of the conversation he was enthusiastically shaking and kissing my hands saying, “I will pray it goes well, my dear!”

This meeting opened up an entire new world of possibilities and as if everyone saw this meeting between Reynaldo and I, I was now finding myself speaking with everyone. I met an elderly couple on the wall at sunset and we too spoke for what seemed like hours about their travels and their lives. This newfound feeling of fulfilment overcame me that I had been robbed of growing up through connecting with other people and caring for those you have just met. A woman stopped me to ask for directions and ended up telling me about her business and how her daughter is a wonderful cook who just moved up north. On the train coming home from Florence, I asked the woman sitting across from me if Lucca was the next stop and by the time the train had arrived we were walking together discussing her new store.

My favourite experience, however, happened last week in a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant in Florence. I find these places to be the best not only for food, but for the people as well. While my friend ran to freshen up after lunch, I was collecting my things as the restaurant began to close. The boss came out from the back room, came up to me and asked, “Come si chiama?” He wanted to know everything. Where I was from, why I moved, here, what I was singing, where I was singing. By the time my friend made it back, this guy knew my life story. I turned around to see that my friend and I were the last customers and the kitchen staff were sitting around the tables ardently discussing calcio. They all started yelling at me to try their favourite Italian liquor. I literally came in here for a quick lunch and by the time I left, I was doing shots with the owners.

This place is something of fantasy. Or maybe this is how most of the world lives: Being kind to one another, smiling at strangers in the street, starting a conversation at the grocery store. For me thus far, it has been as simple as asking, “Come si chiama??”